Tuesday, July 10, 2012

3.95

 Its been a year since the last post.

 I'm older, feel like a weaker version of the me last year. Physically and mentally.

 I'm done with 'getting an education' per se, done with meeting my parents' expectations. There's another year of schooling to go through, but I hope to make that year a year that I study for my own sake.

 There will be regrets, but I believe (in the way that a godless person can believe) that I will never regret signing 6 years of my life in exchange for an overseas education. There. I said it, let my future self read this and remember I said it.

 I learned nothing that will help me in my future endeavours, but I learned a bit about myself and made some friends (albeit not as many as I should have). Let's see how many i manage to keep this time.

 I wonder to myself why I cannot just speak like a normal person to another person. Is it the ivory tower i've been 'nurtured' in? To always find an opportunity to talk down to another person that I believe is close to my equal? I don't really see it as hypocrisy, just not something I should be doing when I want to 'appear friendly'. Appearances again huh, well that's how life works. I act like an ass, people pretend to be amiable to me, but honestly don't want to get on better terms with me anyway. I'm too stuck up with being good at what i'm good at, and like to point out other people's inadequacies; not the best way to start meaningful relationships. I find that I don't talk much to people when I first get to know them, but I often start criticizing them in a non-constructive way, instinctively, habitually, often often often... 

Never mind. I think I should get serious about planning for the future. soon. soonish. Spent a month or more (more) on D3, a game I've been waiting for, met some of my expectations, and missed the rest. Probably a good thing, otherwise I'd still feel like sinking even more time (than 300 hrs) on this epic time sink. Made some cash from selling away things the 2 times (this makes 3) I tried to quit the game, like a bad addiction burning into me every day when I wake up, I go back and try to sell stuff. I guess a dollar an hour is not bad pay for playing a game.

 In the next 1 month or so I hope to start working on my future, gaining some skills I should have gained while still in university; I guess I can try joining something when I get there, provided i get some real-life leveling done in this next 1 month. I've chosen Android over iOS, although its going to be a bit lame coding on Eclipse on a MAC, which I originally bought so that I could use xCode to do iOS programming.

 I think I'll start another blog to log my progress, and I realized that I should use a new email address for all my dev work, in case I actually want to monetize and do some shit with the work I've done, I shouldn't link it to my spam email.